Spoiled baby: prevention

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Is it possible to spoil a baby?
This question is discussed during first several weeks, when a baby is crying between breastfeedings instead of sleeping calmly

Is it possible to spoil a baby? 

This question is discussed during first several weeks, when a baby is
crying between breastfeedings instead of sleeping calmly. When you take him and
start walking around a room with him, he stops crying, at least for a while. But
as soon as you put him back, everything starts again. During first 2 months you
should not be afraid to spoil your baby. Most likely, such baby feels bad or is
excited. When you take him in your hands, it distracts him, and motions calm him
down. Besides, warmth of your body and pressure on belly also help him. Even if
later you decide you spoiled him a little, then in the age of 4-5 months you
will easily rectify him in several days.
Be more careful by 3 months
By this age wind stop torturing a baby, his nervous system gets right -
thus, reasons, causing his bad health (wind keep on torturing babies up to 4-5
months very seldom) dissapear. You notice that your baby doesn`t already wake
suddenly with spasms and troubled with wind. He doesn`t already cry crossly and
regularly. Of course, those babies, who were constantly in someone`s hands
during first 3 months, will be possibly slightly spoiled. They want to be
carried in hands and paid much attention, like before. Now it will be wiser to
moderate your compassion. You should not become very strict suddenly. But, when
it`s time for a baby to sleep, you can say him with a smile, but firmly, that
it`s time to sleep, and you should go and mind your own business. After saying
this, go away, even if he`ll be crying for several monites.
About parents, who entertain their baby too much
Very often mother or father, or grandmother adore a baby so much, that
devote all the time when he doesn`t sleep to him: carry him in their arms, shake
him on a knee, dance with him, make him laugh, play with him etc. (all parents
play with their baby same way, but within reasonable limits). Constantly a baby
becomes absolutely disaccustomed to entertain himself independently. He feels
bored and lonely, when he`s left alone, and he cries to attract attention.
Things that brought mother pleasure before, become a burden now.
About parents, who yield too easily
If a mother always takes a baby in her arms, as soon as he cries, then in
about two months he will probably want to be carried almost all the time when
doesn`t sleep. If a mother continues yielding to him, then in a while a baby
will understand that his poor exhausted mother is henpecked and start
tyrannizing her, demanding to be constantly carried in arms. Deep in her heart
mother won`t be able to stay calm, and a baby will start annoy her. But she`s
ashamed of these feelings and sees no way out of this abnormal situation.
Why some parents grow spoiled babies?
Firstly, this happens with the first baby more often. All parents spoil
their first-borns slightly. For most parents the first baby - is the most
fascinating toy. But the matter is not only in the fact that parents adore him.
Often parents transfer their own might-have-been hopes and fears on a baby.
Besides, parents worry, feeling they are completely responsible for a helpless
human being`s life. When a baby cries, parents feel they are obliged to help
him. With a second baby you are already more self-confident and can
take stock of the situation better. You know you should refuse your baby in
something sometimes, and it`s for his welfare. You don`t feel yourself guilty,
when you have to be firm and inexorable, as you know you`re right.
So, why some babies are more spoiled than others? As a rule, following
types of parents spoil their babies: parents, were expecting a baby for too long
and are afraid of not having another one; diffident parents, turning themselves
into voluntary slaves for the sake of a baby and pinning all their
might-have-been hopes on him; parents, who mothered a baby and considering they
should show superhuman efforts to justify their mission: parents, who studied
baby psychology at the University or worked in this area and thus considering
they are doubly obliged to prove their competence (in fact, knowledge of
theories just complicates the issue of upbringing); parents, ashamed of their
hostile feelings towards a baby and trying to redress a wrong, giving a baby
everything he wants; parents, who cannot stand a baby`s crying, what makes them
feel guilty and then they are ready to do everything to make him stop crying.
Regardless of the reason, all these parents give up their comfort and
rights too willingly, trying to satisfy all baby`s wishes. If a baby would be
wise creature, then it would be not so terrifying. But the problem is that a
baby doesn`t know what`s good or bad for him. Of course, he expects resolute
steps from parents, and then he feels safe. When parents hesitate, a baby feels
uncomfortable. If parents always hurry to take a baby in arms, as soon as he
starts crying, as if it`s dangerous for him to stay in a crib, then a baby also
starts thinking it`s really dangerous for some reason. And the more parents
yield to a baby`s whims, the more demanding he becomes. (We can override too
obedient man in any age).
Chronic unwillingness to go to bed
This problem is developing imperceptibly. In most cases it appears in
babies, who were suffering from wind or crying crossly regularly until 3 months.
Unwillingless to sleep  can also be considered as a form of spoiled character.
Earlier, if a baby suffered from wind, he was taken in arms and this calmed him
down, mother became calm too. But, when a baby is 3-4 months, mother starts
realizing that he is already crying not because of pain or fear: his weeping
became angry and demanding. He demands to be carried in arms, as he got used to
it and thinks you are obliged to do it. When his poor mother takes a sit for a
moment, to have some rest finally, he looks at her as if he wants to say: “Come
to me”.
Such baby can train himself not to sleep up to 9, 10, 11 PM little by
little or even till midnight.
Problem of falling asleep exhausts both mother and baby. A baby becomes
irritable during a day and his appetite can worsen. Parents are also irritated
by a daily performance a baby arranges, but they don`t know what to do. It`s not
difficult to wean your baby from this habit, if you understand, that it brings
him harm too. Treatment is very simple: put a baby in crib in necessary time,
wish him good-night tenderly, leave a room and don`t come back. Most babies are
crying angrily for 20-30 minutes during first night, and then, seeing that
nothing happens, fall asleep suddenly. Next day they will be crying for 10
minutes only already, and on the third day they usually don`t cry at all.
How to rectify a spoiled baby
The earlier you notice that your baby is spoiled, the easier it will be to
rectify him. But this requires will-power and strength of mind. Remember, that
finally unreasonable demands and excessive dependence will bring much more harm
to a baby, than you. Spoiled character will make him troublesome for other
people and himself. So you`re rectifying your baby for his own welfare.
Compile a schedule (even write it, if necessary), according to which you
should be busy with home or other work during most part of the time when a baby
doesn`t sleep. Do this work with busy look to impress a baby, and yourself too.
If a baby is whimpering and asking to be carried in arms, explain him in a
friendly, but firm manner, that you`re working, and work should be definitely
done today. He won`t understand your words, but will understand your inflexions.
Keep on doing your business with busy look. First hours of the first day of this
campany - are most difficult. Some babies get used to such change sooner, if a
mother is absent and if she almost doesn`t talk to a baby, what helps him to be
occupied with something. Other babies feel calmer, if they at least see or hear
their mother, even if she doesn`t take him in arms. When you decide, it`s time
to play with him for a while, sit down on a floor with him, allow him climbing
on your knees, but don`t carry him in arms, as earlier. While you`re sitting on
a  floor with him, he can crawl away from you, when he finally understands
you`re not going to leave him. If you take him in arms, carry him, then at the
slightest attempt to put him on a floor, he will be protesting loudly. If he
keeps on whimpering while you`re sitting with him on a floor, remember about
some other business and leave a baby again.
Hearing a baby`s crying is hard for tender-hearted parents. They imagine
the worst, that his head got stuck in a crib`s grate, that he vomited, that he`s
in panic, because he was left alone. But it`s very important to resist a
temptation to enter a baby`s room to make certain that he`s ok or calm him down.
If you`re afraid a baby`s crying can wake other children, put a carpet or
blanket on a floor of his room. Such materials soak up sound.
Sometimes it`s necessary to explain your circumstances to neighbors. Tell
them it will last for several days only, and ask them to show tolerance.
A baby, who wakes every night
Such baby goes to bed willingly and fall asleep at once, but wakes in the
night regularly. Sometimes this habit appears during a serious cold or ear
disease, when he really wakes because of pain. But in following nights parents
keep on jumping out of bed and running to a baby, as soon as he starts
whimpering, although he doesn`t suffer from any disease already. Sometimes a
habit of waking in the night appears during a painful period of teething.
If parents cannot put an end to this bad habit, then a baby will learn
waking not only once in the night, but several times and stay awake longer and
longer. He will require not only your presence, but also carrying in arms and
will protest angrily, as soon as you try to put him in crib again.
In most cases it`s quite easy to make a complete recovery from this habit.
A baby should get used to the fact that he will obtain nothing by his night cry.
A baby should not see parents, when he awakes in the night. If he sees
them, he will start crying more and more. It`s very important for a baby to
sleep in other room at least during several days, until he weans from this
Some babies start vomiting easily, when they are excited. This frightens a
mother, she looks at a baby discomposedly, hurries to wash his vomiting, tries
to be more attentive to him and next time she runs to him as soon as he starts
crying. Mother should make herself treating vomiting normally. If a mother
taught her baby to fall asleep without crying and lulling, then she should not
deviate from her plan and enter a baby`s room. And she will be able to clear
everything away later, when a baby falls asleep.

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