Advices for future fathers

Share your feelings and thoughts with each other!
One of popular mistakes is: a loving man should understand what his loved one needs without words. Women, convinced in this, don’t ask for support, but nurse a grievance against their husbands. However, even a loving husband treats his wife, as a closed book, a mystery. And this is good, otherwise he would lose interest to her.
Responsibility for family forces man to pay much attention to other matters, first of all, work, and sometimes it’s difficult for him to switch to a wife’s wave of feelings without her help. A wise wife will say this way: “Dear, you know, now I’m in such mood that I want crying. I think I will feel better, if I cry on your shoulder, and you will stroke my head. Now I do need your support”. And in other case a woman feels irritation, anger and anxiety. And she again says to her husband: “You know, now I want to be mad with rage. Do you mind if I beat you a little? May be, I will feel better. My anger is not directed on you. I don’t have offence. But I need to relieve this tension. Help me in this.” A husband will hardly refuse her. And a woman will be grateful to her understanding and tolerant husband. Aren’t we less glad to a gift, which we asked about, then to the one, which we didn’t think of? You know, the first one will sooner meet our wishes.
Do what brings mutual pleasure for you
A future father’s readiness to listen to his wife’s wishes creates the most favorable atmosphere at home. Spend time doing things that bring pleasure to you both and a part of time – doing things that bring pleasure or are just necessary for a future mother: walks, listening to music, visiting exhibitions, reading books (for example, fairy-tales), visits to your good friends etc. If a father has too little spare time, he still should try to change his schedule the way he could have a rest together with his wife more often. But! Dear mommies, give your husband time for his favorite things: football once a week or a couple of tennis games, this will support harmony at home.
Draw as much information from reliable sources, as you can
Uncertainty causes anxiety, doubts and fear. Remember, your mothers’ views on babies’ upbringing, breastfeeding, birth technology are not topical already and can even be harmful. Try to gain modern information. Read special periodicals, books and movies for parents. However, there’re also ageless sources of information. No matter how many books you read, and even if you have childbirth experience already, live communication with competent experts and other couples, expecting babies, can be very useful for you. While going to courses for future parents, ask them about staff qualification, working experience, fullness of information and services they provide for you, both before and after delivery, about possibility of father’s participation in classes, talk to parents, who passed training before you. Healthy sense of humor is useful while most serious circumstances.
This advantage will be of use during pregnancy, childbirth and after delivery. You know, humor helps to keep peace of mind, rise above situation, find right decision and settle conflict softly. If a husband or wife decides to rebuke other, in particular affected by worrying of a baby health, they shouldn’t do it openly, indignantly and strictly. Both parents’ psyche is vulnerable, and results will be clearly negative. Rebuke, expressed in quiet voice, softened by humor and sense of love, can be more effective and anyway won’t bring harm.
Be patient!
Remember, by 4th month of pregnancy hormones level stabilization takes place, and as a result, this means softening of physical indisposition and psychical instability. Understanding that wavering, happening in the first trimester, is explainable and temporary, helps to take a detached view on your emotions. It’s not so difficult to cope with troubles when you have mutual support.
Show interest to your wife’s visits to a doctor
A woman may want to share things she heard from doctor with you, especially if she’s worrying. Husband should be attentive and listen to his wife. It may happen that you will have to hold a family council to make a decision about hospitalization or choice of a new doctor or hospital.
Share healthy way of living with your wife
Both mothers and fathers worry about their future baby health. But mother takes responsibility on herself, and father, as a rule, entrusts in on wife, requiring observation of various restrictions, often excessive. However, researches showed that a father, who also restricts himself, at least when he is with his wife, helps most of all. If a father considers it is too much for him, then he should think about all those sacrifices, she makes to give birth to their baby. Moreover, as it is known, healthy way of living is good for everybody and always. May be, showing care about his wife and baby health in the beginning, a father will make his own choice in favor of wholesome food, refusal from smoking and other bad habits.
Middle of pregnancy – is the most favorable time to pay attention to each other. Completing important work and home issues before baby birth, you need to plan your time and atmosphere as carefully, as when you are in private. Don’t submerge into fuss. Pregnancy is good time for your communication. You are rather adapted to a new situation, looked at each other in a new way, accepted the fact that now there’re 3 of you. A man and woman want to tell a lot to each other. And not only through words. They want to come closer, but they may be worried by fear to bring harm to a baby or woman during sexual contact. If your gynecologist didn’t warn you about serious grounds for restriction of this important part of your life, allow yourself relaxation. Majority of experts agree that sex during healthy pregnancy brings no harm, but while mutual wish, does good for 3 of you. This is rare time, when you can forget about possibility of undesired conception. It is important for a woman to feel she’s desired, what helps her to confirm her attraction in a new state. Feeling of bliss, seizing two people, helps them keeping peace of mind, what will have the most positive effect on a baby. Finally, during coitus organs, important while delivery, are prepared and trained.
Admire her body
A loving man will always find a possibility to show his delight. A husband’s attitude to changes, happening to her body, is very important. His appreciation helps a woman to accept herself in a new state, get rid of fears to become clumsy and undesired. During middle months of pregnancy majority of women feel good. May of them notice burst of energy. They become more productive in work. They manage to do more, than usually. It seems like they receive forces for two. In such situation many women feel the burden of excessive care from other people, display of heightened attention to their health, they are irritated by requirements to restrict and spare themselves. During this period pregnant women are grateful to their husbands, who trust to their own powers evaluation and, helping when it is necessary, for example, in movement and shift of heavy things, organize joint leisure and protect from conversations with importunate people.

When assumed day of delivery approaches, help your wife to prepare everything she needs to take to maternity hospital. Don’t lose your head when delivery process begins! Don’t be so helpless, like one woman’s husband: “When birth pangs started at night, my husband was sleeping. I didn’t dare to awake him for a long. But when I felt it was time to go to maternity hospital, I dared at last. Husband was in grip of deep emotion and got terrible headache. I tried to calm him down vainly, gave him a pill, then make cold pack on head. In a taxi I still had to calm him down and comfort. Husband took a sit in a waiting-room and looked so bad, that a midwife decided to call a doctor, thinking he was seriously ill. Process of delivery itself seemed to be so insignificant, in comparison with my husband’s state troubles”.  


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