Childbirth. Family birth

Several years ago we were expecting our first-born and decided a difficult problem: where and how it would be better for him to come into the world? I wanted to give birth at home, probably, in water. Husband assured me that we still had time and that we should learn more about various variants of childbirth, not being in a hurry with the decision. We certainly wanted to be together, but romance of home (moreover, water) childbirth didn’t attract us. When my husband went deeply into all nuances and details, he categorically refused risking a baby’s and my life.

We had to search a maternity hospital where they would treat us kindly and render assistance, if necessary.
However, medical staff was rather irritated and surprised at our requests. At last, our searches met with success, and our baby came to the world the way we wanted. He was accepted by careful father’s hands, put to breast at once, bathed in a warm bath and they didn’t drop anything into his eyes.

Before bathing, father cut the navel-string by himself, and in 30 minutes we were left alone in peace and silence.

Soon we moved to a separate ward all together, where we really did everything we wanted. Flowers, CD-recorder, favorite cloth, food and toys were not prohibited there. A baby was bathed and poured since the first day, and in 3 days we were discharged from maternity house and went home absolutely healthy. Father spent those 3 days with us, and we left hospital with lots of pictures of delivery, passing aside a hall of solemn discharge, and putting our treasure in a “kangaroo”.

With time I understand that everything could be even better. The main was what we brought from that maternity hospital with us – assurance that childbirth should be friendly, family (if a couple wants this), with few people and certainly safe.

Of course, presence and help of experts are necessary during childbirth. People with delicate approach, experience and all necessary knowledge should be with parents. Yes, natural childbirth require syringe and scalpel assistance, but there’re situations, when a baby’s and mother’s life depends on doctors’ professionalism.

It’s not so necessary to go to a maternity hospital with the first birth pangs. Most likely, it will be more pleasant to spend the first phase of childbirth at home: listening to music, taking shower or bath, making all preparatory manipulations. Allow your husband to make tea for you, anesthetic massage and count intervals of time between birth pangs. When they will last for 5-7 minutes, it’s quite time to go to a maternity home: it’s better to go there when childbirth are in full swing, so that not to wander about corridors, but give birth. Allow father to talk to a nurse in a casualty ward, and mother is going through birth pangs, not distracting from her condition. As a rule, a husband prepares a crib for himself – everything that may interest a nurse for filling in a medical form: a wife’s date of birth, term of pregnancy, her height, weight etc. In many maternity homes they require passing through dozens of tests from father, but there’s no acute necessity in it. Usually a husband, who wishes to take part in delivery, should just put on a hospital gown and special shoes, in some cases he can be asked to put on a mask also. As a rule, this is all “sterility” of his staying in a maternity ward.
In a maternity ward a couple is left alone (if you spent a phase of birth pangs at home, you don’t need pre-natal ward any more), a doctor controls a mother’s and baby’s state of health. If there’s a necessity to help woman with something, they should consult father for sure.

You can give birth squatting down, sitting on a special chair or your husband’s knees – in short, they way you feel comfortable. As soon as a baby is born, he’s put on a mother’s belly and then put to her breast. After navel-string finished beating and father cut it (of course, with doctors’ help), a baby is given into his hands, and he bathes baby in a bath with warm water, with accoucheur’s assistance.

There’re situations, when a father doesn’t want to be present at delivery, but he wants to take a baby in his hands and kiss his wife right after them. This is also possible. Childbirth, when main characters are mother, father and baby – are not the last word in fashion. This is the most normal and natural situation: a meeting of two people, loving a third one and presenting life to him. These are only parents, who completely know the way their future baby grew, developed, and pushed them; which troubles he gave to his mother, and even, probably, discomforts; which joy they felt all together, when father came home late after work and touched them tenderly…

Sometimes only one such touch or look during delivery is enough for a woman to turn this god-given ordeal into a family mystery.

You know, a woman is born together with her baby for the second (third, fifth!) time – like a mother, a keeper of hearth. By the highest standards, this is important and significant only for a father of a family, as his family is born. And if we don’t talk about father’s practical help (anesthetic massage, support in a comfortable position, mediation between mother and medical staff, care of a baby right after birth), then it’s just impossible to find better understanding of all happening and better emotional support.

When a father becomes not just a spectator during childbirth, but an assistant and participant, he relieves a baby’s birth by half. To do everything so that the dearest and most defenseless at that moment people would feel better with you – isn’t it the most important predestination of a man?
And talks about unattractiveness of delivery sight, about sexual vulnerability – these are talks about something else. And if a father is stopped only by them, this means he’ll still have to be born as a man  – probably, together with the first (or another) son or daughter.


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